Photos North Pole
Name: Glitter Scribbles
Age: 644
Household: At the North Pole, I’m part of the Gingerbread clan, but I serve the Rothchilds of New Brunswick.
About yourself: I’m 644, tired, and grumpy. I look forward to 700 to retire.
Q: Is elf on the shelf a promotion from the workshop making gifts for Christmas? What was your reaction when you received the job?
A: I made gingerbread men and women in the North Pole Bakery. I got to eat all I wanted and loved that job. When I got this appointment, the pay was better. I brought my A game at first, but it really is exhausting.
Q: Once paired with a family, are you committed, or can you ask for reassignment?
A: You are only eligible for reassignment when the family’s youngest child stops believing. Robby Rothchild is 80 and still believes. Did I mention I’m exhausted?
Q: What kind of house assignments are your most and least favorite?
A: The game has changed a lot over the years. These younger elves filling toilet bowls with marshmallows and getting into the eggnog have made it hard for old vets like myself. Last year, I tried to get creative. Thinking it would be a good idea, I hid in the couch cushions. Well, Mr. Rothchild decided to nap on the couch, and he fell asleep with his rear end over the crack in the cushions. It had been Taco Tuesday. I should have gotten into the eggnog.
Q: Do you have any talents besides surveillance?
A: I’m an excellent country-western singer. I’ve just never gotten the chance to shine.
Q: It’s said that you tell Santa what you see and hear; do you consider yourself a snitch?
A: It’s the job. The number of years these Rothchild kids should have gotten coal tells me what a forgiving soul Santa is.
Q: Do you feel awkward telling Santa everything you see and hear? Have there been any incidents that you kept to yourself?
A: I never told him about Taco Tuesday…butt I guess he knows now. See what I did there?
Q: Do you ever cause trouble on purpose while shelf-sitting? If so, why?
A: The old guard, like myself, really doesn’t cause much trouble. We do the job. These new guys have changed the game. I can’t wait to retire.
Q: Are you supposed to move about the house every night?
A: That’s the rule, but you might sometimes find me in the butter dish of your refrigerator for a week. I’m a cold-natured being from the North Pole, and I’m old and tired. Forgive me, and I’ll give you a good report to the big man in red.
Q: What’s the hardest challenge you face each season?
A: Keeping up with these young punk elves. The Rothchild grandchildren expect me to put on these elaborate spectacles each and every night. Look, I’ve got one or two in me a season. And to be honest, my creative juices only flow when I get into the eggnog.
Q: What is your favorite part of Christmas?
A: Eggnog
Q: Do you have any wishes for this Christmas season?
A: Early retirement. It’s been a good run, but I’m ready to take it easy.
Q: What do you do in the off-season?
A: Honkytonk day and night. The big man in red loves a good show.
